It was during the December holidays, Suleiman’s family had an annual family gathering in the village. This was one of Suleiman’s favourite times of the year because it meant fun times with his cousins.
Suleiman was seated under a mango tree by himself, this was unusual.
“What’s wrong Suleiman?” Maria, his cousin, asks.
“Well Musa has changed, he is not the same.” Suleiman sadly says of Maria’s brother.
“Oh, that. I agree, I noticed the change too. It happened after he came back from his boys’ camp.” Maria says.
“What’s that?” Suleiman asks.
“In our community teenage boys go through initiation. They go somewhere during August or December for a few weeks to learn how to be a man. They learn responsibility and prepare for adulting. Musa calls it the boys camp.” Maria explains.
“Are they taught not to play anymore? To only hang out with the older boys?” Suleiman asks, disappointed.
“It’s not that he does not want to play, he just has more responsibilities now that he is gone through initiation. He is in a different stage of life.” Maria says.
“I don’t like it, but I do understand,” Suleiman says.
Maria made a mental note to talk to Musa to give Suleiman some “big brother” time.
“Are there any other surprises our culture has besides initiation?” Suleiman asks, changing his posture.
“Well, in the past, after initiation it was expected that marriage followed,” Maria says.
Suleiman’s mouth is now ajar in surprise.
“So in the past, Musa would have been married by now?” He asks.
“Yes. And he would have married a girl my mum and dad would have chosen for him.” Maria informs Suleiman.
Scoffing, Suleiman asks “What if the girl does not like Musa?”
“Well, in the past that did not matter. Parents chose the bride and negotiated with her parents before paying dowry in the form of cattle.” Maria answers him.
“Wowza! I am glad those days are gone, I want to choose my own wife when I grow up” Suleiman says.
With Suleiman now very interested in their culture, Maria explains their baby naming ceremonies.
“Naming ceremonies are very important. Firstborn children are named after the father’s immediate family members.” Maria begins.
“Is that why I have the same name as Grandpa Sule?” Sulieman asks.
“Yes that’s right, and we interchange the naming with family members of your mother’s immediate family. As you are the first child you are named for your dad’s dad and your little brother is named for your mum’s dad.” Maria continues.
“Now that makes sense,” Sulieman says.
“However, when significant events happen like long rains or drought, the children are named after the season instead,” Maria says.
This is fascinating to Suleiman.
It is getting dark, and some chores still need to be done before they go in for the night.
“Come on, help me put the chicken in the coop for the night,” Maria requests.
Suleiman stands up to help. Now understanding what seems to be different with his cousin Musa he feels better.