Some individuals just stand above about the crowd and their lives impact you in ways that you can’t imagine. I’m usually not one to talk about heroes. The last time I had a hero, they let me down thanks to their cheating ways. Now we talk about mentors, but they aren’t quite like ‘heroes’. This hero of mine would rather be found sitting on a stool than being placed on a pedestal. They know the truth of the methali, ‘aliyejuu mgonjee chini’.
My hero is as human as they can get. They aren’t afraid to show nor share their frailty. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer many years ago, she and her husband shared this heart-breaking news with me over a meal. It threw me. These things weren’t meant to happen to us post-youths. I was as baffled as they were because according to the doctor’s she didn’t fit the bill, so to speak. Little did I know that I too would be told I didn’t fit the bill for my cancer diagnosis.
My hero, Wambui, fought her battle with grace, strength, truth and faith. I didn’t know what to expect when I went to sit with her through one of her chemotherapy sessions. I expected to see nurses in orange full armour personal protective gear. My imagination was hugely disappointed. Wambui was reclined on a lounger with a book, and the IV pole, her only company. We ended up laughing and talking until it was time to leave. Her grace under fire calmed the storm that was raging within me. It wasn’t easy and she never hid that fact from us, her friends and family.
It’s not just her battle with cancer that earned her distinction of being called my hero. It’s her personality, warmth and never say die temperament. Our friendship was borne on the foothills of the Lukenya Hills while students at Daystar University. However, it grew when we were thrown into the real world. When we both went through our various peaks and valleys. That’s when I realized Wambui was my boy! She knows that. She knows that if I was ever to get hitched she would be in ‘my line’ as the phrase goes.
Her grace, strength, truth and faith, was dispensed freely to me when I started my battle with cancer. She was my ‘msema kweli’. I was able to ask her questions, share my thoughts and fears that only a fellow fighter could understand. She gets me, or rather she humours my crazy anecdotes or downright foolish phrases or comments. Though we may not physically see one another as often, as she still has her role to play of wife, mother and daughter, I know that we can tafutana and serve each other chicken soup for our souls.
My hero, Wambui Gitonga, is not afraid to question her own life and life in general, or her faith and of those around her. Wambui is unafraid to try new things, but more than anything is unafraid to start again when those new things fall flat. She has offered her truth to me as I have offered mine to her.
Heroes in my books are those who know that they are human, that they too fail. They acknowledge life’s speed bumps, but also know when it’s time to rest, laugh, work and play. Heroes in my books are individuals who are unafraid of themselves and know that their safety is anchored deep within themselves. Heroes are individuals who offer safety to those who need it when required.
Thank you Wambui, for being a safe place.
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This hero piece was written by Paukwa’s contributor Kevin. He is a writer, freelance journalist, podcaster, queer activist, cancer fighter and producer of the Nipe Story podcast. He lives in Kilifi town and believes he will one day get down to writing his book project.